Last night I encountered a major opportunity to put my "not talking" lessons to use. My husband and I got into an argument. It wasn't anything major, yet it was enough to piss us both off. The details of the original issue aren't important and are fuzzy in my mind at best. But it is funny how one issue can lead to all the old problems being brought back up. It got to the point where neither of us could remember what we were arguing about.
As men and women do, my husband and I hear things differently. Sometimes I think it is a big joke that God played on women, pairing men and women together. Men just think differently than we do. I take something the wrong way and get hurt, and it seems like my husband just does not care. He gets distant, and I get mad.
The distance just elevates my anger. It pushes my buttons. As a result, I cannot stop talking and asking questions. These actions push his buttons and he pulls even farther away. It is a frustrating and annoying circle. And we have always seemed to be stuck.
At the end last night, I ended up going for a walk, alone and angry. (Side note: This did of course take my mind off the walking alone issue and at least something good came out of the argument). About a half hour after getting home we finally both got over it and let it go. It may sound silly but that is major progress for us. I have to admit that I am not good at letting things go when I'm hurt or mad. In the moment of my frustration, the advice this book has given me is the last thing on my mind. But I will keep trying and reading, only good can come of it. I think.
--Nicole
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